'Twas the night before Crewsmas, when all through the state
All Crew fans were stirring; no one could wait.
Their gear was all laid out on floors with care,
In hopes that St. Dunc soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Renteria danced in their heads,
Glitter Mama in her 'kerchief, that hooligan wench,
If her seats were closer she'd be on the bench.
When soon at Crew Stadium there arose such a clatter,
Casual fans came out to see what was the matter.
To I-71 they flew like a flash,
Tore open their minivans and brought all their cash,
When they got to Hudson St it was packed,
The cars were all decked out in yellow and black.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a proud Crew team, just like last year!
With a new central midfield, so lively and quick,
It was that time of year- it must be First Kick!
Faster than one dollar bratwursts they came,
Warzycha whistled, and called them by name:
"Now! Milo, now Duka! Now Gaven and O'Rourke,
"On! Marshall, on! Balchan, on! Hesmer and Anor;
"On to Crew Stadium, as the Nordecke calls,
"Now get out there and kick Montreal's balls!"
As the national anthem was sung by and by,
The teams were lined up, planes raced through the sky;
'Twas there, in Crew Stadium, that everyone knew,
This year was special - the year of the Crew!
And then in a twinkling, the squads took the field
Could this be happening?! Was all of this real?
The bellowing crowd was heard in Whitehall,
Even Gaven's beard shouted, "Close shave, Barbasol!"
McCullers was psyched, from his head to his foot,
Proud of the team on the field that he put;
A bundle of scarves was flung round his neck,
And he looked like a drunken fan in Nordecke:
Fans all poured into Crew Stadium's seats,
And Crew Cat was there to meet and to greet.
The game then kicked off, the battle began,
And thoughts of past glories raced through the fans:
Of McBride and Guille, their heroes from yore,
Who guided their teams to the playoffs and more.
But this team today needed support,
So they cheered and they sang until they were horse.
The Crew responded with multiple goals;
The fans felt rushes of joy in their souls
Reporters reported and bloggers did blog,
Some dude in Portland chopped up a log.
TFC and DC United both lost,
The Hudson St Hooligans clearly were sauced.
A day couldn't be more perfectly set,
The club made a profit and got out of debt.
The only thing left to proclaim with a beer,
"Merry Crewsmas to all, and be massive this year!"
